Cavity Blues

Well, I haven’t posted in a really, really long time. I fell off the face of the earth!

We’ve had a lot going on.
Travis health hasn’t been great, but gradually he’s gotten a lot better.

I haven’t been to the dentist in like 6 months.
There is a cavity that’s acting up.
So we call to schedule an appointment and they say, “We only take people who are under 25 years old.”
Here I am wondering why they took my husband and I when I’m 29 and he’s 35?

Oh well, we need a new dentist.
I was just getting comfortable with my last one!
There’s always something to worry about… I am so anxious about the dentist.

In more exciting news…

It starts July 1st.
I am all in!

I have a great idea…
It all starts with a princess, an amulet and a mystery.

Here’s to lots of fun in July.
My plan is to post every few days with my word count updates. Please help me stick to it guys! Thanks

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Daily Prompt: Bespoke

Lately, I’ve been melancholy.
I didn’t understand what the word meant.
My first thought,something sad and lonely.

Then, I looked it up:

essentially, bespoke is the past tense for bespeak.
The appearance of something can suggest or be evidence.
Something made to order, like clothes…

I though about my wedding dress.

It wasn’t made to order.
In fact, I found it at a second hand boutique shop.
My price range,
a beautiful dress.

The dress was too big at first,
but a tailor can do amazing things.
It fit me perfectly.

I’m rambling now.

The truth is
our first thoughts on a subject are often clouded
by the worry, anxiety and fears of our day, but,
the second thoughts should be glimmering…

with hope, joy, love.

 

via Daily Prompt: Bespoke

It’s Raining

It’s raining today and all is well.
My anxieties are asleep and I am awake.

The worries are there
but I am not sinking.

My belly is full
My heart content and joyful.

Its raining and all is well.

That’s It

I don’t know what to write.
That’s not it.
I don’t want to sit down and write.
That’s it.

I’m tired.
I didn’t sleep well.
I’m ready to go back to bed.

Today is my day off
I just want to rest.

I’ve been apathetic lately,
about so many things.

I want to sit and rest.
I want to be quiet and certain.
I don’t want to worry.

I don’t want to worry.

Hospital Blues

(on waiting)

My heart races as I sit patiently.
I’m trying to breath regularly.
My eyes burn, but mostly the left one.

Hours of starting at a computer screen, that’s what I will say if they see me wiping away the wetness.

It’s important for me to stay strong, reliable, positive.

He is in another room.
Silly from pain medication and anxious nerves.

He is a sweet boy when he looks at me, “you are so beautiful.”

I don’t know what to think.
I’m scared.

A Waiting Game

I hate to start out by saying this…
It’s been a really long time since I wrote!

At first it was that I was too busy,
I thought I didn’t have anything to say.
Now, I’m just tired.

I’ve started to just go through the motions; sleep, eat, work.
I think we all do at a certain point.

Life gets more stressful than usual.
You keep moving forward
try to be positive, but there’s no answer.
It is so, so frustrating.

Wait, think positive thoughts, wait.

I didn’t want to post an update with only negative things happening so I will end by saying this.

Although I am incredibly stressed out, worried, anxious and frustrated by the things that I have no control over. I am still content. I am doing what I can and that is enough.

Be Content

I have been thinking a lot about contentment lately.

We are bombarded from all sides.
Advertisements, the media, and social networking make us want more.
I am certainly not immune to that.

I see really cute posts on instagram of these adorable paper supplies that I love.
I see beautiful homes, designer clothes, amazing vacation retreats.
It makes me wonder.
Am I content with what I have?

We live in a rental.
We have a car with 200,000+ miles.
A cat that lives with with my Mom.
A job I love.
We are surrounded by family and friends who love and support us.
We do have a pile of medical bills that’s getting higher and higher…

I see a lot more good than bad in that list, don’t you?

True contentment is being happy with what you have and finding the joy that comes from every day life.

Sometimes it feels like your whole world is exploding.
Stress and anxiety are eating you up and it makes you crazy.
It feels like you’re being dragged under by the weight of it all.
It’s easy to let that happen.

In some situations, the only thing you really have any control over, is your attitude.

I think it’s a super power. A positive and joyful attitude is the key to contentment.

This doesn’t mean that I never succumb to the feelings of disappointment and fear.
I consciously try my best to keep site of the best in every situation.
Usually, I am very surprised at how many good things I end up writing down.

We have a true super power at our fingertips.

So here it is, I say, let’s try our best to spread joy and positivity to everyone.
You never know who needs a bit of happiness in their day.

What are some of the personal goals you would like to work on?