I thrive on routine.
I think this is one of the reasons why change scares me so badly.
Despite my vile loathing of my schedule changing dramatically. I find that when circumstances need a change, I do it willingly as long as it will be best for Travis and I.
As I grow older, the years just seem to go by more and more quickly. I know that this is something most people do start to feel, once they are faced with “real life.” This happens after you start working full-time, when you start a family or even when you are in college (or sometimes even in high school). Time stars to pass so quickly that it is hard to do everything that you need to do in a day or a week or a month or even a year.
I used to think that I could create a plan, or a schedule, for a week and it could be the same for a whole year. I could expect the expected and it would be the best sort of normal routine.
Well that just doesn’t happen.
Even if you have a set schedule each week, you have so many other responsibilities that need time as well.
I do thrive on routine.
And yet I’ve discovered that the key to staying happy during a change in circumstances is to keep my eye simple.
When I am faced with a huge possible change, I am filled with an intense amount of anxiety, fear, hope and excitement.
For several weeks these kind of emotions have swirled around in my brain.
I am happy at the idea of moving to a new area, but I am also terrified.
I hate change!
So why am I looking forward to this?
Well, I’ll be with my sweetheart, Travis, and we will have our cat, George. It will be his third giant move in his little kitty life, but I know he’ll be fine.
Everything is up in the air right now. There are so many possibilities
I kind of feel like my heart is being stretched in so many directions.
I yearn for a cute place to call my own where Travis, George and I can just be so comfortable and happy.
My heart hurts to think of all the friends and family I will leave behind.
It’s like a war within myself.
The things I desperately want are tearing me apart.
The difficulty that comes with change reminds me of something very important that I learned from an older lady back in Colorado.
This was when we decided to come home to California back in 2014. I was saying goodbye, we both knew that we would probably never see one another again and I asked her, “How do you do it?”
She was so solemn and comforting.
She held my head in her hands and she smiled, “It’s life, my sweet, you move on, you meet new people. You will be fine.”
I knew that already.
I did; but it was another one of those moments that made my heart squeeze and tighten.
It’s one of the truths that we make ourselves blind to; life moves on.
We graduate high school (or college), we get married, we move, we start new and different jobs, we get older, our friends die, we live.
I don’t know what we will do yet, but I know that we will live.
We will be happy, despite whatever obstacles are thrown our way and we will do it with a positive joy!
What are you determined to do, despite any circumstances that might change in your life?