(on waiting)
My heart races as I sit patiently.
I’m trying to breath regularly.
My eyes burn, but mostly the left one.
Hours of starting at a computer screen, that’s what I will say if they see me wiping away the wetness.
It’s important for me to stay strong, reliable, positive.
He is in another room.
Silly from pain medication and anxious nerves.
He is a sweet boy when he looks at me, “you are so beautiful.”
I don’t know what to think.
I’m scared.
My heart races as I sit patiently.
I’m trying to breath regularly.
My eyes burn, but mostly the left one.
Hours of starting at a computer screen, that’s what I will say if they see me wiping away the wetness.
It’s important for me to stay strong, reliable, positive.
He is in another room.
Silly from pain medication and anxious nerves.
He is a sweet boy when he looks at me, “you are so beautiful.”
I don’t know what to think.
I’m scared.
I awoke from a nightmare to the sound of knocking. My eyes were open wide as I tried to make sense of where we were. Pink carpet, the loud whir of the swamp cooler. The desert house. Ah, yes, we were at the desert house.
It had to be past midnight, so who could be at the door?
I lay there on the little futon stuffed in the corner of the den. My eyes unblinking and the blood rushing through my ears. I stared at where my husband lay on the couch diagonal to me. He was finally sleeping soundly, after a 6 hour stay in the ER overnight and a day of fitful rest he was sleeping at last.
I listened hard. It didn’t sound like someone was knocking on any of the doors now, maybe it was just my heart beating wildly within my chest that had woken me up.
Isn’t it strange how a nightmare will affect you in that way? I had never woken up like that, with a dream so real I had my fight or flight defense ready to go.
This weekend was hard. We came to the desert for a change of scenery so Trav could get some more work done. So we could do a little house hunting and have a work related getaway. We ended up getting a whole lot more than we bargained for.
The experience has taught me just how much I love him. I am not the type of person who likes to take charge. I go along with the other people and I follow instructions. When he was in terrible pain, more than I had ever seen him in (and he has a very high tolerance for pain) I knew I had to do something extreme. Either his appendix had burst or some other equally awful thing had happened!
It seriously took me a few hours to coax him from his curled up ball of pain to get dressed and get into the car so we could make the 11 minute trip to the Joshua Tree Emergency Room. We had only arrived about 30 minutes before he started feeling sick. I remembered seeing the Hospital on our way to the desert house, and thanks to modern technology I could tell him, “Only a few more minutes! We’re almost there!”
I will spare you the details. It was pretty terrifying, but I knew that I had to take care of him as best I could. I spent the night sitting next to his hospital bed as they put an IV in and gave him morphine, Zofran and saline. My poor guy. Turned out it was a really bad virus that was attacking his gastrointestinal system. I’ve never been so relieved that it was flu.
Well we are on our way back home. Well rested we are not, but ready to get back to the swing of things.
bugsdontcare 