Be Content

I have been thinking a lot about contentment lately.

We are bombarded from all sides.
Advertisements, the media, and social networking make us want more.
I am certainly not immune to that.

I see really cute posts on instagram of these adorable paper supplies that I love.
I see beautiful homes, designer clothes, amazing vacation retreats.
It makes me wonder.
Am I content with what I have?

We live in a rental.
We have a car with 200,000+ miles.
A cat that lives with with my Mom.
A job I love.
We are surrounded by family and friends who love and support us.
We do have a pile of medical bills that’s getting higher and higher…

I see a lot more good than bad in that list, don’t you?

True contentment is being happy with what you have and finding the joy that comes from every day life.

Sometimes it feels like your whole world is exploding.
Stress and anxiety are eating you up and it makes you crazy.
It feels like you’re being dragged under by the weight of it all.
It’s easy to let that happen.

In some situations, the only thing you really have any control over, is your attitude.

I think it’s a super power. A positive and joyful attitude is the key to contentment.

This doesn’t mean that I never succumb to the feelings of disappointment and fear.
I consciously try my best to keep site of the best in every situation.
Usually, I am very surprised at how many good things I end up writing down.

We have a true super power at our fingertips.

So here it is, I say, let’s try our best to spread joy and positivity to everyone.
You never know who needs a bit of happiness in their day.

What are some of the personal goals you would like to work on?

My Very Own Writing Space

Tonight will mark our first week in this trailer.
I can’t say how happy I am to have our own little space.
There is a place for everything.
We can live simply and be content with what we have.

Travis set up a desk in the bunk room for me.
I’m typing here as we speak.
I don’t have the little window open yet.
My face is all greasy from sleep.
I’m savoring this peaceful morning.

It has been a long time since I had a little spot to write.

I feel so ready for Camp NaNoWriMo.
It starts next Friday on July 1st.

I haven’t really done much preparation.
I’m actually kind of on the fence about “pantsing” or “planning.”
I’ve won planning my project and I have won with no preparation.
I have also failed doing both.

When I have a special place to write I usually achieve my goals.
This is probably just a mindset I need to change, but at least it’s a pattern I am finally noticing!

I will be posting every week to update on my progress.
The plan is this will keep me accountable to my writing goals!

What have you discovered is best for your writing space? Do you find it easier to have a spot at home to write, or do you like going wherever the wind takes you? 

DAILY PROMPT: Fence

Be Accountable – Writing Goals!

Camp NaNoWriMo is in July this year. The last few times I have participated in the writing challenge I have failed miserably, which is embarrassing! I understand though, looking back at my circumstances during those times I realize that it wasn’t a priority.

Every day, working on this blog, teaches me something new about myself. It’s not easy to fit everything you want to say in a small space, but when you find the perfect words to describe what you are feeling or experiencing, it can be amazing.

The people who know me will understand, I have  tendency to, in person, take forever to get to the point. I’ve done this since I was a kid.

When I write, every word counts. This is why, right now I am obsessed with short stories. The good ones are incredible. They should be jam packed full of goodness. The writers is able to connect to you in a way that is haunting. The story sticks with you.

This July I am challenging myself to sit down and actually write out a complete short story.

Are you participating in any writing challenges? What are your writing goals and how do you keep them?

 

DAILY POST

Embarrassing

 

You Don’t Wanna See Me Angry

I am a very positive person.
I love to be cheerful. To make the people around me happy.

Even the happiest person can get angry.

I feel this heavy anger bubbling up inside of me.
Everything irritates me. Everything!
I can’t stand it!

I call it “hangry.”
If I get too hungry, then my normal bubbly personality is overshadowed by this little, angry woman. I feel like an old grandma who has just had enough!

The lesson of this story…
Pay attention to yourself! Take care of your own basic needs so that you don’t accidentally lash out at those around you!

 

DAILY PROMPT

Angry

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.

My Perfect Day

I was trying to think of what my perfect day would be. I realized that, I have my perfect day a lot. I want to drink coffee with my husband. I want to think about the good things in my life. The people who I love, my positive attitude. I think of all the wonderful possibilities and the lives I can change with a cheerful greeting and a happy smile.

Sometimes I over think things.

Okay, to be honest, I obsess over the anxieties and the worries that I have a lot. It’s something that I work on. I make a point to consciously think of a few things that I am thankful for and grateful for in my life. They don’t have to be huge, mind boggling things.

It could be as simple as waking up before my alarm clock.
Enjoying the soft light from the early morning sun filter in through the blinds.
Looking over at my husbands sleepy, squished face against his pillow.
A delicious, cup of double dark roast coffee from my favorite little café.
A bit of time to write my thoughts before I head to work.
A sweet text from my friend that always lifts my spirits.
These are the moments I cherish.
The small moments in a rushed day that can so often be overlooked.

Yes bad things do happen, even on a perfect day I might get horrible news.
My whole world can be shaken and I can become scared.

I am scared.
I don’t know what the future holds.

I look to those perfect moments. They hold me together, like the strongest bond. It is love, appreciation, and awe. I live every single day and I am so happy. I live. I love. I am.

 

 

The Happy Habit – Be Healthy

What is being healthy? It would be different for every person. For me, it’s feel good on the inside and the rest will follow. I like to make the people around me feel happy, excited and relaxed. There are too many things in this world that are poised to make us miserable for me to be another negative.

Back when I was working nights at the nursing home I was a caffeine addict. I drank red bulls and coffee at least 4 nights a week. It became a habit, and a nasty one at that! Since changing my “day job” I haven’t had an energy drink in almost 9 months! I have made it a goal to drink at least 8 glasses of water in a day. I’ve discovered that keeping my body hydrated allows me to be the positive, bubbly person that I want to be.

It can be hard when there’s coffee and soda and so many yummy drinks to choose from, but I save those things for a treat. I still drink a cup of coffee everyday, but it’s never like I will crumble if I don’t have it. Water though, that’s a necessity.

Water is the main body-wise health thing that I worry about. The most important aspect of myself that no one sees, is my mindset. I could drink as much water as I want, but if I’m focusing on negative ideas, problems and issues too much, then I’m still not going to be at my best health wise.

Mindset if everything. Stay positive despite what the circumstances of this world throws at you. Help others as much as you can. It’s the little things that help the most! The unexpected flower on someone’s desk, the tray of goodies brought into work for sharing, the personal interest shown to a friend or a stranger.

Truthfully, my circumstances will always be changing. I can’t control the weather, the financial world, the type of roof over my head. I can control how I treat others and that makes me feel great!

 

DAILY PROMPT

Healthy

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/healthy/

Bugs. Don’t. Care.

What I Learned From an Awesome Old Lady

“They’re gonna make me take a shower, but I’d like to see someone stick them in that freezing room!”

I used to take care of this older woman who would say things like this. She was a great grandmother, she had a perm, she always wore an undershirt with a turtleneck sweater over it. The most difficult kind of shirt to put on her! I remember the way she would stare at me through the super thick glasses she wore. Her face would be screwed up so that her wrinkles pulled tight as she tried to concentrate on me.

One day I walked in the room and I saw her mouth was in a tight little line. She just kept staring at the floor and picking at her pants. I filled her water container, no ice, the way she liked it. The whole time she was muttering.

“I don’t care, I’m a bug. I could crawl right out of this place and no one would stop me, since I’m a bug.”

Turns out she was being treated for a UTI. Confusion is a good sign of a possible infection. My poor lady. I just could not get what she had been saying out of my head. After passing all the fresh water and ice to my residents I returned to her room and tried to draw her out.

There she was, most of the time not understanding who was coming in and out of her room. Why we had to wake her up in the middle of the night to make sure she was dry and comfortable. The reasons for getting her up early every morning to be for breakfast which started at 7a.

She had no control over her life. Her mind was not as fast and didn’t connect or remember like it did when she was younger. Yes, she had family that visited every single day, even multiple times a day, but she couldn’t always remember that.

It was just so profound to me. I can’t really put into words how this made me feel. Sure, it’s a natural part of this life. We get older, suddenly we get to where we just can’t take care of ourselves anymore. We need help, then more help until there we are, stuck in a place where we have absolutely no control.

Truthfully, we don’t have a ton of control, even as fully-functioning adults. Things happen that blindside us, plans don’t always work out, we get sick, or one of our family member’s get sick and everything in our life changes.

This experience opened my eyes. Even though I had been working with the elderly for a long time. Taking care of their most basic needs, it wasn’t until this moment that it really hit me, how we will all get to that point one day. It doesn’t matter who we are, how healthy we have been in our life. We will be old and wrinkly, confused and bewildered.

It hasn’t changed me much. I love people, especially the older ones who have lived such full lives and are so willing to share their experiences with others. I am less quick to judge. I see someone and I realize that no matter what might be at the surface I do not know them.

I try my best to be kind, especially when the other person is pouring out hostility and negativity. You never know when the slightest bit of kindness shown will be the positive spark that changes their whole day into something so much better.

The point is, we interact with countless people every, single day. We can either be another irritant or we can be a positive force for good in their lives. I’m not saying that you need to go out of your way to make strangers happy. I’m telling you to be mindful of how you treat others in simple ways. It will make you happy as well.

Most people follow the general rule of treating others how you want to be treated. When you actively do this, doesn’t it make you feel better too?

Yes, there will be times when, as with my lady in the nursing home, you can’t always be so helpful. However, by understanding that we all have the power to show kindness, which in turn allows others to show kindness, is a kind of amazing super-power. Not because it’s difficult. I think of it like the rings on a tree, for every ring that counts as another year that the tree has been alive. Well, for each person who is kind to someone, it balloons out until, from just one, tiny act of kindness, countless people have been effected in a positive way.

This is my goal. No matter how awful this world is, and how anxious or sad I might be, I can help the people around me to be positive and joyful!

Lessons Learned: the Power of Saying “No”

A year ago today, on Wednesday April 22, 2015 I celebrated the completion of Certified Nurses Aid course. I note this, not because I remember this day due to that important goal being met, but because facebook told me. There’s a nifty little post that pops up every so often, showing what you posted on that same day in years past. While scrolling through the feed I did a double take when I saw the photo which was taken on the last day of our class. I remember staring at the picture for a while, and not quite registering the fact that it had been a whole year already.

I took out my red Moleskine planner from 2015 and flipped through it until I found the page I was looking for. There it was, I had recorded everything, down to the 100% score I received on the final exam. Yes, I am the type of person who writes everything that is important to me down in planners, notebooks and slips of paper I stuff in my purse. As I read through my notes, goals and observations during that time I am transported to that time.

It isn’t every day that you get to do something you absolutely love, but I was, at least for a little while. This is something that a lot of people don’t understand. Yes, I know I’m getting ahead of myself here, but we’ll get to the point soon. So I worked at a nursing home for about 6 months in California, and about 6 months in Colorado. I’m the type of person who really enjoys helping people. I like to be dependable and resourceful and well liked. Well, I learned a very important lesson.

I am constantly working on improving myself. The motivations that no one else sees, the fierce need to help people and protect them while adhering to my own limitations and the fact that I just can’t do everything that I would like to do. I’m a quirky nut, but the main point I want to bring out is the fact that we need to be reasonable with ourselves. Often, this means learning how to say, “No, I’m not able to do that. I’m sorry.”

Suddenly I was thrust into working nights at a nursing home again, which I had told myself and my husband I never, ever wanted to do again. Why? I wanted to be helpful, I didn’t want to be a bother. So, I agreed to do what I knew I would hate, because I was too nice to say no.

My positive, bubbly self quickly wilted. I soon became a person who walked around in a daze: tired, grumpy, and angry because I was hungry at different times than everyone else. It wasn’t long before I started searching for a different job, anything to get me away from working nights. I loved taking care of the residents who lived at the skilled nursing facility, but the nights, the heavy lifting and no sleep just had me in knots. I was losing myself in this job and I knew something had to change.

After a short 4 months I was given the opportunity to work as a virtual receptionist at an answering service. I had my hesitations. I thought, me? A strange, quirky introvert who is sometimes kind of an extrovert, but really doesn’t like talking to people on the phone? The pull of no more nights was strong. It was a mere 2 weeks before I was goodbye to my night job and hello to normal hours and an incredibly positive and joy filled day job.

Lessons Learned:

Trust your Instincts, and Just Say No

• For example, If you know you would hate working nights, just say no. Don’t allow anyone to make you do something that you really, really don’t want to do. It’s the same in relationships and other responsibilities. If you have a bad feeling about it, say no.
• Remember, there is no harm in turning down another responsibility when you already have too much on your plate. I said yes, knowing that it was a bad idea. I suffered from that decision, but I was most angry at myself since I’m the one who said yes.
• Stand up for yourself! Be aware of what you put as a “to do” on your agenda. Remember, we all have 24 hours in every day and we should be reasonable with our abilities.

Analyze Your Mindset – Be Joyful

• This is something that will allow you to have a positive outlook on life, even in the rough circumstances that life throws at you. We need to change our vision from the inside out, beginning with the thoughts we plant inside our minds and allow to grow. If we are constantly fueling the negative, then we won’t have room for the little bits of joy that pop up in our day to day lives.
• There is always a bright side to every situation. Even if it feels like the worst anyone has ever experienced. I didn’t know that my circumstances would change, but I was actively searching for something better, while trying my best to stay positive about the situation I had gotten myself into.

In Conclusion…

On nights when my mind is racing and I just can’t stifle the anguish that clings to me, my husband tells me this, “You’ve done everything you can do for the day. Just remember that everybody you know and care about and love is safe at home in bed sleeping, and that’s what you should be doing too.”